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Three Day Juice Cleanse

March 6, 2009

Let me make the disclaimer that Blueprint Cleanse is one of the most highly regarded cleanses around.  Their juices are raw and well-balanced and you can read good reviews here and here.  I am just a huge baby.

At 5pm today I started to see white spots and I threw up the white flag.  I ate a potato.

I’ve been doing the Blueprint Cleanse for the past three days.  I did it for one reason and one reason only, to lose a little extra weight for my wedding dress fitting this weekend.  I’ve been doing Weight Watchers, and I’ve lost six pounds, but I just wanted a little extra.

The 3-day plan I did had 5 different juices:

Green juice – I had visions of little shots of wheatgrass.  Someone described it as intensively celery flavored, but I’d go a step further and describe it as “reminiscent of bile”.  I had to hold my nose to drink it.  It’s twice a day.  Blech.

Pineapple juice – This is pretty good, but pineapple is weirdly a diuretic.

Lemonade with cayenne – This is all you drink on that Beyonce master cleanse, and its tasty and makes you pee even more than pineapples.

Beet juice with ginger – This sounds like it would be the grossest, but its actually quite tasty and the ginger is great for an upset stomach.

Water with chestnuts, vanilla, and cinnamon – They describe this as milk, and its ok, but a little funky and watery.

I get migraines.  I get migraines if I eat onions or yeasty bread, drink red wine, get less than 7 hours of sleep, get my period, cry, exercise, or get too hot.  Other than the couple times I’ve climbed mountains, this is the first time I’ve signed myself up for not just a migraine, but a three day migraine.  I had headache morning, noon, and the middle of the night.  I took migraine medicine and got violently ill.

Yes, after 2.8 days, I caved.  It was brutal, terrible, and gross, but at least I lost three pounds!

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